Lost, but found

We've lived in a world so cold, a world that didn't care,

Each man for himself, no time to say a prayer.

Now we're on bended knees, praying for an end,

Can't say this world is any better, unless we make amends.

Can you hear the silent screams of suffering beings?

Their wordless tears don't fall on deaf ears.

For when the Spirit groans, it can stop us in our tracks;

Forgive us now, we've gone too far, now we're coming back.

I wanna reach out and touch you, I wanna send you love,

It's been a month since I've seen a smile, or even felt a hug.

Now all I do is stare at the wall in front of me,

No one to smile or talk to, just myself for company.

It's been a long time I've been living on my own,

It shouldn't matter much that I can't see anyone.

But worse than feeling lonely, is feeling so numb;

When I look in the mirror, don't recognize who I've become.

Feels like I'm going on hundred when I look into my eyes;

It all feels so pointless now, I thought it'd make me wise.

No sound to break the silence, not even voices in my head,

Empty streets outside my home; Inside, an empty bed.

But pain and suffering, they come to make us strong.

Don't give up the fight just yet, this battle can be won.

And I hope when this is over, and a new day has come,

That you and I can still be friends in a world that lives as One.

Credits:

• Inspired by Jon Bon Jovi's #DoWhatYouCan project

A trip to remember - Chikmagalur

The decision was spontaneous and serendipitous,
Guided by some unseen force, our plans fell into place.
The bus was booked, and the home stays were narrowed to four,
Speaking to Mamata, Deepa got the best 'vibe' from her.
We packed light and headed to the bus stop early Saturday morn.
Trying to find each other in that vast and confusing bus stand,
I spotted our faithful friend, the Moon.
New and shiny, that crescent of silver just above Deepa's head
As she walked towards me, was all the reassurance we needed.

Off we were, a smooth bus ride,
Arrived and chauffeured just in time for lunch.
The scent of coffee blossoms filled the air,
The sight of them, like snowflakes, thick on the branches.
Mamata's welcoming smile on the porch
Of a bungalow nestled in the hills.
A garden and a lawn overlooking a hill,
Stately silver oak trees, like sentries all around us,
And that heady coffee blossom perfume in the air.

We couldn't believe our eyes,
This beautiful room, this scrumptious spread,
This kind and attentive hostess,
And a vase that says, "Love makes our House a Home".
After filling our bellies and taking a nap,
Tea and snacks were served,
Then off we went for a walk in the woods before sunset.
We couldn't believe this blessing of beauty all around us!
We returned as daylight faded, to that anxious, smiling face.

The offer of a bonfire made our hearts start to race,
The Fire Ceremony we'd hoped for but not really planned,
Seemed about to fall into place.
Soup and snacks and a little fig wine by the fire,
Chatting with Mamata and watching the antics of the stray cat,
Feverishly writing out on little strips of paper,
The top five things or events from our past holding us back,
The need to let them go, and begin again.
Mamata and the help leave us alone and there is silence all around.

By the crackling flames and under that starry sky,
With the cat as our witness we begin to read,
Choking back tears, we help each other get through this,
Events and people, memories and pain, are read and cast into the flames.
They go up in smoke, rising up towards the stars,
Back to the Universe from whence they came.
Exhausted but relieved, we finish the ceremony,
And our feline friend, like some divine messenger,
Makes a quiet retreat.

Our emotions heightened and just each other for company,
We draw comfort from the stars and the trees.
The psithurism, the glowing embers, the gentle breeze,
Breathes life into us and tells us we are not alone.
Immediately we feel intense but opposite reactions
To this purging ritual -
Deepa feels light, her stomach empty, and she is hungry.
I feel my stomach start to spasm and lose my appetite.
I hydrate and feel a little better, so we sit down to dinner.

The cat makes an appearance, calling to us from outside,
So we feed her some leftovers which she gobbles down hungrily,
Then joins us for a walk under the starry sky.
What a sight to behold - The tall silver oaks and the house,
Silhouetted against black velvet and sparkling diamonds!
We name her "Angel", and when I tell her to look up at the stars,
She promptly rolls over on her back, as if she understood!
Wishing we could lie on the lawn and look up at the stars all night,
We finally go to bed and Deepa sleeps, but I am kept awake by the mosquitoes.

We are up at 4.30 am and the driver picks us up at 5
For the drive up to Mullayanagiri for sunrise.
The journey loses its appeal as my stomach starts to spasm again.
Just as we begin the ascent, I ask to stop and am violently sick.
I wretch and wretch though my stomach is empty, save for two sips of water.
Feeling better and lighter, we drive steadily up the hill,
As dawn breaks, I realize in amusement
My symptoms almost exactly matched
The sacred ayahuasca ritual!

Breathtaking views now, as we rise higher than the clouds,
We climb the last 300 steps on foot, to the summit
And suddenly, as we take that last step, we are greeted by the Sun.
He was rising on the other side, hidden from our view.
A burst of orange fills our eyes and we are breathless, both from the climb & the breathtaking view.
What an auspicious event, to be greeting a new day from the highest peak in Karnataka!
Looking down over the rest of the world,
A symbolic new beginning, as two phoenixes rise from the ashes -
Amazing Anna and Daring Deepa are here to stay.


References:
Fire Ceremony - http://www.thesacredscience.com/a-lesson-in-letting-go/

Book Review - The Future of God

"The Future of God" by Deepak Chopra is one of the most uplifting books I have ever read. It's a book about the essence of everything, at least everything that "matters" (no pun intended) - life, belief, wisdom, source (Spirit). I love that it discusses some of the most controversial topics with such openness and ease, and in doing so, it does not coerce the reader one way or another. It gently guides you on the path to "finding your own light", as the Buddha advised. I think everyone should read it. To the skeptic, it teaches you to be open to infinite possibilities. To the believer, it teaches you to seek more than blind faith, and not to trust the five senses, but to go beyond them. For there is a beyond. There is something that only "experiencing" can reveal.

About life, Deepak says, "Human experience would be fatal without moments of inspiration. In exchange for such moments, when love, beauty, and the possibility of reaching higher reality become vividly true, we endure a great deal of tedium, routine, mundane work, and suffering". I think this truly sums up what Life can mean, once you start to see more than meets the eye.

About wisdom, Deepak says, "Wisdom sees what can't be seen with the naked eye". And again, "Most of the time wisdom startles us because it is so contrary to reason and common sense". I can't imagine someone reading this, and not becoming curious. And when you begin to seek, that's when you begin to see. Magic is everywhere, we just need to "re-attune" ourselves to it! And Deepak's words are so encouraging when he says, "Your present self, in its unawakened state, isn't your enemy or a cripple or a failure. It is Buddha waiting to realize itself"!

About God, he says, "God is not an idea. God is consciousness". How many times have we been told, even as children, that God is everywhere? How many times have we read in the Bible that our bodies are the "temples of the Holy Spirit"? Deepak uses this allegory to explain it further - "The air in a party balloon would be surprised to hear that there is no difference between it and the Earth's atmosphere. Until the balloon is popped, a thin membrane keeps it from knowing who it really is"! The essence is within us all, but how many of us nurture the Spirit the way we do our physical bodies? And yet, Spirit is eternal, whereas the body is only temporary. But most of us have this backwards, or just refuse to see beyond the illusion of this physical, material, temporal world.

Believing is surrender, freedom, childlike trust. As Deepak puts it, "Providence will uphold you when you are totally aligned with God, as nature upholds all simpler life-forms". It's the kind of trust that Jesus spoke about - "faith, like a grain of mustard seed". And that is grace, or being in a state of grace.

The power lies within each of us, but few will realize it's full potential.

Poem - Home

Goodbye old friend,
I leave you as I found you -
Empty and alone,
All skeleton and bone.

My home for so long,
An extension of my soul..
Silent witness to my fears,
And all my joys and tears.

My happy place - I ran to you
Whether in good cheer or in bad;
You'd wrap me in your loving embrace
'Til I'm no longer sad.

Your warm and welcoming ways
I never will forget
Not just to me, my friend,
But to everyone you met.

So many memories and emotions
Soaked into these walls,
And secrets I entrusted you -
Stoically you kept them all.

You watched in helpless silence
Cold fingers grab my heart
Time and time again, you knew
They'd never make us part.

For when the honeymoon's over
And the thrill of love is dead,
It was you I'd come home to
And snuggle in your bed.

And all those beautiful souls
Who cared enough to visit,
When the time came to say goodbye,
They left us with their spirit.

Twelve years we had
Almost exact to the date
Perhaps just by chance
Perhaps planned by fate.

But as you fade into the past
And I walk out the door,
I know the beauty that I saw in you
Was a reflection of my soul.

Poem - Blackout

You may think I’m going nuts,
But I’m starting to enjoy these power cuts!

The silence, like a hunter on the prowl,
Magnifies the screeching of the owl,
A soft breeze touches my cheek and whispers in my ear
Or was it the beat of a bat’s wings as it flew too near?

In the darkness, the infinite heavens play host
To twinkling stars and white vapour ghosts
Moonlight silhouettes, shadows and shapes,
Candle light glow, warm against the drapes.

The weight of my thoughts seem heavier somehow
With this blanket of darkness wrapped around me now.
I softly strum my guitar, but the silence makes it loud
I’m humming to myself, feels like I’m singing to a crowd.

Suddenly a glare of light invades my senses,
The buzz of technology, too strong for my defences,
All too soon the stillness is gone..
How I wish it could’ve stayed until dawn.

To tip or not to tip

While in some cultures a tip is expected or even demanded, in India, it is left entirely up to our not-so-generous hearts! Of late, some restaurants add a “service charge” of 5 to 10% to the invoice, which is supposed to go to the server.  I think this is a good practice, except of course, when the server takes it for granted and gives you lousy service in return!  Which brings me to the eternal dilemma (at least for most) - whether to tip or not, in those cases where a “service charge” is not included by default.

In my view, the answer is simple - you always tip! Simply because the person serving you does not have as much as you do! I’ll make an exception if the service was really that deplorable, but even then, might a tip actually put the server in a better mood for the next customer? And this doesn’t apply to just waiters in a restaurant, but also to taxi and auto rickshaw drivers, delivery people, bell boys, doormen, really anyone providing you a service. It’s not that hard to get the hang of this – these are people providing you a service, which in most cases you cannot do without! Yes, they get paid for that service. But how many of them really get to take home the full amount or even part of it? Not many. In most cases, they work for someone who pays them a salary that’s just a fraction of what you earn. The logic is simple - If you can afford the service, you can afford the tip!

Not to take anything away from those donations you make to big charities, but here, the money is actually reaching the needy directly. Plus you get to see an instant reaction to your generosity! I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve watched a cranky auto driver turn into a surprised, grinning, grateful one, and all for just 10 extra rupees! You have to understand, if the guy is in a bad mood, it’s probably with good reason. And in the spirit of “paying it forward”, it’s quite likely that because you put someone in a better mood, somewhere a spouse or child is spared the brunt of a day’s exhaustions or frustrations.  A simple act of kindness can go a long way, and can touch many lives. So next time you’re wondering whether the person deserves a tip or not, don’t deliberate too much, just do it!

The Season of Love!

Christmas is everybody’s favourite time of the year these days, even those who do not understand the true meaning of Christmas, thanks to the commercialization of the ‘Holiday season’ as it’s come to be known!  More often than not, we are caught up in all the material aspects of this festival – new clothes, gifts, expensive food and drink, Christmas trees & Santa Claus – that we forget that above all, Christmas is a season of Love!  Jesus (whose teachings are the foundation of Christianity) taught that Love is the only way!

To bring back the ‘Love’ into Christmas, we must reach out to those around us that are in need of that Love.  Very often, these people are our own family members.  It’s easy to miss the signs because these are people we see day in and day out, so much so that we take their presence for granted.  It’s easy to get caught up in the daily routine of rushing to work or school, meals eaten in a hurry or in front of the TV, everyone going about their own business, phone calls with friends or colleagues, time spent ‘socializing’ on the internet, that we forget to even notice our own family members.  We know they’re there, we know each one has a role to play, but how many of us stop and notice the "un-obvious"?

•  a tired mother who’s been slaving in the kitchen all day long.  All she needs is a warm hug or a “thank you Mum, the dinner was delicious” to rejuvenate her tired spirit.
• a moody teenager who’s struggling to make friends at school due to a lack of self-confidence.  All he needs is a reassuring word from his Dad that in life’s ups and downs he will always have the love & support of his parents no matter what, to make him feel like he can conquer the world.
• a melancholy Grandfather who’s feeling more & more useless every day as his strength & faculties start to fail.  All he needs is remembrance from a child or grandchild of a warm moment shared in the past, to make him feel loved & needed. 

It doesn’t take much, just small thoughtful acts of kindness every day to make our family members feel loved & appreciated.  And there’s no better time to start than during the blessed season of Christmas.  Those of us who are away from our families for the better part of the year know that this is a time we look forward to most, that we long for, because NOTHING in this world can keep us from going back home for Christmas!  Being away from your family gives you the space and the time and the opportunity to miss them, to realize their value, to reminisce and to appreciate every precious moment spent with them.  But we must try to do this even if we see them every day!

It’s undeniable that Christmas brings a special feeling of joy, peace and hope to the world.  That is the miracle of Christmas.  That is the legacy of Jesus.  It’s up to us to keep that legacy alive!  In the words of a popular song –

“Don't get so busy that you miss, Giving just a little kiss, To the ones you love

Don't even wait a little while, To give them a little smile, A little is enough

How many people are crying, People are dying... How many people are asking for love

Don't save it all for Christmas Day, Find a way To give a little love everyday…”

Merry Christmas to you & your families, or in other words, spread the love!